Ayis are one of the major perks of living in China as an expat. For a negligible amount of dough you can have someone cook meals for you, do your laundry, clean your apartment, and even raise your kid! Having an ayi may sound like a no-brainer, but in all relationships there come times when it’s just better to call it quits. Everyone makes mistakes, but if you notice some of these major red flags, it might just be time to consider looking for a new ayi.
1. She keeps hiding your encased collection of rare insects in unexpected places around your apartment
You spent hours netting specimens, killing them in a jar filled with ethyl acetate, pinning and grouping them according to their etymological classifications, and then she goes and hides your insect collection where? In the washing machine? What type of crackerjack operation is she running? Take a hike ayi!
2. She won't stop calling you Frank
We get it ayi. Frank was a one in a million guy. He had a thousand dollar smile, was a wizard with a buzz-saw, and was a BIG tipper, but that’s just not me ayi! The sooner you realize that Frank is gone forever, the sooner we can all put that chapter of our lives behind us and move on. I think if Frank was still here, he would agree that it’s time for you to go.
3. She has trouble looking you in the eye when you shake hands
There’s no better sign of character than the look in a person’s eyes during a robust handshake. Not only does your ayi seem uncomfortable when engaging in a vigorous clasp of digits, she also avoids direct, prolonged eye contact. She’s clearly got something to hide with an attitude like that. Amscray ayi!
4. No matter how many times you remind her, she never remembers to call you Frank
Look sister, we get it. It’s hard living the life of an ayi. You’ve got a million little details to attend to, and no one is even the least bit grateful when you leave a sparkling wonderland for them to return to or cook them a sumptuous meal… but hey, is it too much to ask that you at least remember my name? It’s Frank. Nice to re-meet you. Ah forget about it, why don’t you just get out of here and save us both a lot of embarrassment.
5. She refuses to do your taxes
With tax season just 6 months away, it doesn’t seem unreasonable to expect your ayi to roll up her sleeves and complete the 1040-EZ forms you left right there on your dining room table for her to fill out using the receipts you conveniently placed in a wicker basket next to them. You figured that she would get the hint, but maybe you need to be a bit more explicit. Hey ayi! What the heck am I paying you for? Get off your butt and do my taxes or it’s vamoose for your caboose!